I feel like abortions should bother me more
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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