At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
