I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
