tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
