i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize