Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
