So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
zippers are such a cool invention
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize