If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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