So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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