And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
