why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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