ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
