apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
