Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
