tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
