Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
