someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
