Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
be right there i have to get my cape
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
