dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
