i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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