Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
