Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
