Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
