Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
