My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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