If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
