That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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