Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
