Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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