Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
