i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
