i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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