I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize