I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
