Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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