jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
