i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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