It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
