Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
