My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
