whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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