I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
