areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She tied me up with her honor cords...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So apparently I’m into choking now
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