I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
