went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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