i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
