and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
