So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
worst night to have a conscience
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
