So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
