i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize