Michael Bay diarrhea
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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