Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
