Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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