When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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