he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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