he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
