he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize