Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
