Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Found the puke drawer
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
