bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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