Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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