gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
