I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize