If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
