Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
