I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
