Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
