I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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