I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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