I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
