i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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