did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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